A Dope Rhyme to Pass The Time

It’s time, to rewind, rip it back to the past, in a flash, you’ll relive, what I did, three days ago, ya know? (A dope flow for my bro, Show)

Friday evening was my highly anticipated self-screening of Robbie Williams, Show. An Elvis style set up filmed for the BBC (so swearing or ass bearing) and the first performance he had done in a year. Robbie Williams is a total superstar, not a cheesy pop star, as I once believed him to be. Whether it’s cock-rock or rat pack, that boy can sing and dance (without the aid of lip synching) even when he’s running across a stage. His lyrics refreshingly revealing and self-aware – it’s all about him, but it’s clear he’s still trying to figure out who he is. And well, he’s pretty darn cute too! He may very well make it into my top five, but only after I’ve worn out his albums and DVDs.
(For the record:
1. Oasis
2. David Usher
3. Pulp
4. Kula Shaker / The Jeevas
5. They Might Be Giants)

One aspect of the DVD that drove me insane was a game you have to play in order to see some bonus footage. There are 20 lights, and 6 of them are lit randomly, and then you have to select the same lights in the same pattern. Three rounds of this get you one clip! At my age, memory is fleeting, and even more so when you’re using a tiny DVD remote to move around. Impossible. It took half an hour, some paper, a pen and a whole lotta eyestrain to get the footage. Robbie backstage playing Sweet Home Alabama on his guitar. Badly. Was that necessary? Argh!

Then I called my mom to make myself feel younger, and she told me a story about something that happened to me when I was 3. When I was 3 I had a neighbour (who was also 3) who used to bite me EVERY SINGLE DAY! (That part I remember.) One day she drew blood, so my mom took action. She told the girl’s mom, and her only response was “so she’s a biter, big deal!” So my mom sat me down and told me that the next time this girl bit me, I should bite her back. My mom even made me practice on her! The next day the neighbour bit me. My mom pointed at her and said, “Now bite her back!” and being the obedient child I (apparently) was, I bit her. You know what, she never bit me again. And people wonder where my vampire obsession comes from…

I spent Saturday frolicking around Yorkville and drinking coffee with a cheerfully depressed Mariana. We poked around in some toy stores and I actually found a crazy cat lady action figure, complete with a whole bunch of plastic cats. Scary – everyone has seen my future! I spent a whopping $3.95. I got a cat mat (for stinky litter) and a red and blue light bulb at the dollar store, and I hit the jackpot at a used bookstore when I found an old NME with Oasis on the cover for 50 cents! I also got my QAF discs back and they now look brand spankin’ new! Yay! So I went home and watched Evil Dead II. I always forget how gut-bustingly funny Bruce Campbell is! It is possibly the most ridiculous movie ever made, but it’s oh so entertaining! I attempted some X-box play, but I really REALLY suck at video games!

Sunday I spent with my mom, first coffee at Second Cup, then more browsing in Yorkville. After shopping she made me dinner and showed me how to knit with two colours, so now my new scarf has begun! I actually went home and knit for most of the evening, stopping only for the Simpsons & Arrested Development. I’m almost finished the pattern part of the scarf. I wound down for sleep by starting Dead Man’s Walk. All I knew when I bought it was that it was a western mini-series starring Jonny Lee Miller, whom I adore immensely, and who is rarely in a bad movie. It was also only $16, so it wasn’t much of a gamble. So far I’m digging it, and I generally hate westerns. It opens with a bunch of guys watching the only woman in their group (their whore) catching a snapping turtle. They discuss her “on credit” policies as she drags the turtle up a hill. When she makes it to the top, she cackles and tosses it at two of them (cheap bastards) and they dive for safety. For breakfast there is a huge gory conversation about precisely the best way to kill yourself if you are in danger of being tortured. It’s totally grossing me out, something a movie hasn’t done to me in a long time, so I’d say I’m enjoying it!

And now I’m back to work. Listening to the saga of whether or not Lorne could be a woman’s name, because it could be a guy and the fact that we printed it in our bulletin may mean damnation to hell because it could imply that we support gay marriages. I’m not kidding.