Master of the Universe

The best thing about working here is the occasional gift basket we as an office receive - today we got the nicest one ever (and I told the lady who gave it to us too, although she likely though I was just being polite.) Usually they're all stuffing and boring crackers, but this one contains an exuberant amount of fancy, yummy things like marshmallow chocolate bark (actually a mucho amount of chocolate), 4 pepper & olive dip, rye & caraway crackers, flavored coffee and lots of other stuff. There's also a package of shortbread cookies which my boss handed to me and said "oh these have to be for you cause you're a WASP" to which I replied "I'm not a WASP, that's Scottish shortbread and my grandparents were Scottish and doesn't everyone like shortbread?" To punctuate this, the ritual director came in and went straight for it saying it was his favorite, and now that they've been opened there's only one left. Guess I work in an office full of WASPs.

The thing about labels is they're usually as equally true as they are false. I myself am usually so ignorant to stereotypes that I'm not even sure what many labels imply. Although I suppose if everyone actually knew what they were saying about someone when they labeled them they probably wouldn't say it to begin with. Or maybe they would because they're a jerk. I didn't actually call myself as an atheist until I started working here and got tired of being referred to as the catholic girl. They still call me that, but now I correct them; the term atheist is a valuable tool in a religious institution especially when you want to clear the room. So what exactly is a WASP anyway?

(from Wikipedia)

"...descendants of colonial-era immigrants from the British Isles - especially England, Wales and Scotland (irrespective of the fact that Scots and Welsh people are Celts, not descendants of Angles and Saxons) and also usually includes persons of Dutch descent such as the Vanderbilts and Roosevelts."

A mix of Scottish & Dutch (among other things) ---> 8/10.

"...upper middle to upper class educated Protestants, members of high society, with prep school and Ivy League educations."

Designating class structure is lame, but I did go to university.---> .5/2

"Various stereotypes...boring, greedy, frugal, snobbish, distant, compulsively hardworking, emotionally undemonstrative and arrogant."

Boring - sometimes, greedy - hardly, frugal - always, snobbish - whatever, distant - eh?, compulsively hardworking - half of the time, the other half I'm a lazy ass, emotionally undemonstrative - no, arrogant - never ---> 1.5/5

"...having pale, and often sunburnt skin complexions, fair colored wavy to curly hair, and light colored eyes."

Pale skin, dark hair, medium-ish eyes(?) ---> 1/3

"...a propensity for alcohol..."

Myself, no, but it does run in the family! ---> 1/5

Congratulations! You are 48% WASP, and 52% I don't give a f*ck.

But speaking of labels, I was being introduced to the woman who gave us the gift basket and I was introduced as the person who does the website, the Shabbat Shalom, the Bulletin and all the flyers - I told her I'm the assistant bookkeeper. That is my actual title, and I actually do that job too (accounts receivable, billing, bank deposits, anything related to members financial information, etc.) it just encompasses less and less of my time as more and more things get added to my list of duties (which also include the Cantor's Assistant, solving computer issues, running reports when the computer system works and assisting in the search to find a computer program that actually works.) So I think I need a new title to better explain what I do. Suggestions anyone?