Sometimes I just can't help myself...

"I'm a good stuffer."
- Gay man on envelopes

"With nuts or without?"
- The Rabbi's first words upon returning from Israel (bearing chocolate)

"Oh, I thought DVD meant dearly departed..."
- The boss

All this in the last 1/2 hour...

And the coolest thing I heard all day...

--------->Lyla.

The first single from the new Oasis album was leaked yesterday on a Polish radio station, and within hours it was posted absolutely everywhere. I pulled an Erik (who is notorious for burning one song on a cd and listening to it over and over again - sometimes I think it's just to torture me) so I could listen to it on the way home, and have probably listened to it a couple dozen times by now. It's good, it's happy, it's not that different from their last few first album singles. The first single is usually "safe". I also find it highly amusing that NME gets most of their "exclusive information" on Oasis, directly from the forums. (Like today's news!) The rumour about the new album being titled I Stand Alone was a rumour started by a post on a forum, and it spread until NME, HMV, Amazon and god knows who else actually listed that as the new title. All other information is mostly from the mouth of Noel Gallagher, who, in attempting to confuse and delay the leak of information, has actually lied about the album and song titles. That man is a comic genius. No really, he said so himself!

Most of the forums have a policy regarding posting songs that are or will be released, which is fair, but clearly (and thankfully) people post the stuff anyway. The mods must have had one fun day yesterday trying to delete everything. The official board is down right now, the mods are probably doing some damage control. It is inevitable; if/when a song (or the entire album) is leaked, it will be spread across the globe. I love da internet. I have no qualms about hearing the stuff early - I'll still buy the album the day it is released, and I'm not worried about spoiling my first experience hearing it. Their last album leaked a couple of months before it was to be released and I couldn't have been happier hearing it! A lot of the time when a band tours to promote a new album, the shows are scheduled within weeks, even days of it's release. I like to know the songs I'm going to hear; I go because I have the album and want to hear the stuff live, not because I need to be enticed to buy it. Like the new David Usher album is scheduled to be released on the day of his show in Toronto. Duh. And likely it will not be leaked, cause few people care or know who he is. Although his first single is #74 on itunes top 100 downloads...

Now here's where I draw the line. Sharing music is one thing, but when people start making a profit off of something that is not theirs to sell, I personally think they are big-ass scam artists. Like people selling bootlegs on Ebay. Like this f*cker who claims to be selling a recording of a song that was only played once live, and although it was recorded by someone, that person swore to keep it to himself until the new album was released. Wank.

May 31st is getting closer y'all.


Don't Believe The Truth.

That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day…

While MAKING her lunch at her desk, cutting vegetables, #1 cut her finger.
#2 - What did you cut it on?
#1 - A knife, duh!
#2 - No, what kind of vegetable?
Me – Does it fu*king matter?!?!?!

Y’all wanna read more stupid office stuff? Check out overheardintheoffice.com – it’s a hoot!
This one too overheardinnewyork.com
I feel lazy and springy. I wanna go outside!

I did a whole lotta nothin’ this weekend – watched 7 movies, read 2 books, watched 3 hours of BBC tv, cleaned the kitchen, the bathroom and my room, spent several hours cutting a something for the one minute film festival, visited my mom and tortured her cat with the stickers from 2 dvd cases…all in all, a whole lotta nothin’. Soon I’ll get to those Montreal photos….soon.

A week later and....

It's been a busy week. I was gone all weekend, have been working on the website at work, and PRIME came out Wednesday so I had to read it all. Later there will be photos from Montreal, until then, there is this:

Johnny Weir was awesome tonight, finishing in fourth place,
and it's a silver medal for Jeff Buttle!

There's always David.

As much as I want Jeff & Johnny to win medals, (mostly so they’ll skate in the gala afterwards) I do feel bad for Evgeni, because now he’s withdrawn from the competition completely. (Without the injury he would most definitely have won gold.) Now he won’t even skate the long program in front of his hometown. L The top pair from China pulled out last night due to injury, Takeshi Honda busted his ankle during qualifying, and Johnny’s apparently hanging on by a thread. Tis a dangerous game folks.

I just gave more money to the ticket dispending rip off factory Ticketmaster, so Candice and I can see Mr. Hottie Man himself, at the Mod Club next month. I wonder how many times I've seen him perform live......

• July 17, 1997 Molson Amphitheatre, Toronto ---> Almost missed it because we were in the middle of shooting The Fishing Trip, but I had a breakdown on set and was sent home! I went with Adam Gover, a friend from York, because Candice couldn't escape the set!
  
• Nov 21, 1997 Massey Hall, Toronto ---> Candice & I bought tickets from a scalper minutes before they got on stage, and never ended up sitting down. This was where the thigh-grabbing incident occured, and was talked about on the radio the next day.
  
• July 1, 1998 Edgefest, Molson Park, Barrie ---> Back when Edgefest was good, Candice and I fought our way to the front and battle with the girls that would later be referred to as the "Toronto bitches." (The same snot-bag group of girls who are at the very front at EVERY show, who will push you, but if you push back there's liable to be a cat fight.)
  
• September 12 (?), 1998 Holy Joe's, Toronto ---> David's 1st Solo show. Candice & I gave up film fest tickets to try and get in to this show announced on the radio, just hours before. This was where we met fellow fan Mark Swierciz and watched the performance sitting on a couch, only a couple of feet in front of him. Afterwards he came over to talk to us (because he knew Mark) and actually kneeled down in front of me. Could ya die?!?! (I actually have a bootleg of this performance, courtesy of Mark.)
  
• June 30, 1999 Tower Records, Toronto ---> Candice & I got up real early to get passes for this tiny performance & autograph session.
  
• July 1, 1999 Edgefest, Molson Park, Barrie ---> I took my brother to his first concert ever. Candice arrived later and ended up conquering the whole show alone!
  
• Aug 20, 1999 The Dardanella, Wasaga Beach ---> Candice and I went with Shawn Cisterna to this small hick bar show.
  
• Sept 6, 1999 Mix 99.9 Beachfest, Kew Gardens, Toronto ---> Alison Zemell and I fought our way to the front in a battle with the Toronto Bitches.
  
• June 23, 2000 Waterfront Festival, Oakville ---> I took Erik to his first concert ever when I found out he had tickets to see Celine Dion later that summer. We also dragged Mike Thorne along, but I lost both of them the second the show started!
  
• July 30, 2001 Ted’s Wrecking Yard, Toronto ---> I got a pass for this small performance when I bought Morning Orbit. I went alone, and sweat a lot!
  
• October (?) 2001 NOW Lounge, Toronto ---> Alison Zemell won a pass for this one, and kindly took me along. Ironically it was to take place during my last ever shift working at Starbucks. I called in sick.
  
• October 31, 2001 Phoenix Concert Hall, Toronto --> Halloween with Candice, Bill, and David! This was a fun show, and the first time I saw David wearing nail polish!
  
• April 16, 2004 Brampton Theatre, Brampton --> Holy crap I can't believe that was almost a year ago! I went with Candice to this seated show, a nice change for all the geezers (and there were geezers there!), and a chance to really watch Mr. Hotty Hotpants perform.
  

It's very comforting to know that there will always be more David.

The rumour mill is a churning today…

I had a lovely evening last night with Erik, Mariana, Matt, Chris, a mountain of thai food and two teen movies (Saved! & Sleepover). Mat & Chris & Kate got me exactly what I wanted – the newly released Criterion disc of My Own Private Idaho, which was apparently impossible to find! Another Keanu disc, eh? They must REALLY be my friends to keep buying me Keanu movies! And Mariana gave me a multi-photo picture frame in the form of a filmstrip, which I will most definitely fill with the pictures I will take this weekend on our trip to Montreal. Saved! was a frickin’ riot, while Sleepover was so bad that it made Erik yell at the tv during every scene. And even though I didn’t get into bed until 11:30 p.m., I just HAD to watch some of the men’s short program. Many of the top men skaters are injured right now, (including my little Johnny Weir) so the fight for a place on the podium is proving to be a tough one. Johnny's sitting in 7th right now, and I'm hoping there are some major f*ck-ups with the top skaters, with the exception of Jeff Buttle who's in 4th frickin' place right now --------> I hope he wins a medal just to stick it to all the people who have been saying that there's no hope for Canada to win ANY medal this year! Plus, he's a pretty awesome skater with a style not unlike that of Johnny. I think we should all give up on Emanuel Sandhu, seeing as he's clearly NEVER going to BRING IT ON!

Cake. Not the band.

I just had the best kosher cake ever! It was moist chocolate with icing that tasted exactly like cotton candy. Tasty stuff. It came to us from a bat mitzvah someone had on the weekend and its arrival nicely coincided with my birthday today. And tonight there’s the chocolate Oreo cheesecake I made last night! Add the apple pie from the weekend and it’s a dessert overdose! All I had last year were rainbow cupcakes. But I’m not complaining! I did get a $100 Best Buy gift card from someone who really shouldn’t have, but probably wants me to shut up about getting an Ipod!

---

Top Ten Things Overheard In Rome On The Ides Of March

10. "Excuse me, Caesar. Is that a knife in your back, or are you just happy
to see us?" - Brutus

9. "Uh...Caesar dear, that Oracle-of-Delphi guy is on the phone again.
Should I take a message?" - Portia

8. "You're right, honey. It IS a beautiful day for a picnic! But I think I
should stop by the office and pick up a few things first." - J. Caesar

7. "Hmmm...looks like a clear case of suicide. You're free to go, Senator
Kennedy." - Anonymous

6. "We'll NEVER get those stains out of his toga NOW. Way to go, LUNKHEAD!"

5. "Beware the Ides of...hmmm...30 days hath September, April, June, and...oh
the heck with it! Just stay home!" - Oracle-o-Delphi

4. "Wolf Blitzer here, and the scene is one of absolute MAYHEM, if you'll
pardon the pun." - Wolf Blitzer (CNN News Stud)

3. "Crucify Him! Crucify Him!" - Chorus
"No-no-NO! The line is 'HAIL CAESAR! HAIL CAESAR!'. I swear you people
are dumber than a box of sticks!" - Cecil B. DeMille

2. "XCIX bottles of beer on the wall, XCIX bottles of beer! Take one down,
pass it around, XCIIX bottles of beer on the wall!" - The Triumvirate

1. "OUCH!" - J. Caesar

Oh weekend, why do you leave me so quickly?

On Friday I hijacked the Civic again for a lovely ride to work, and an evening of being Erik’s “car bitch” (although the only place he requested I take him was to work so he could use the fax machine – I denied his request and enlightened him to the fact that most convenience stores will send faxes for you.) The fax was so he could get another credit card that will undoubtedly be maxed out in a few weeks. The other reason he wants the card is because it offers car insurance on any car you rent on it. How cool is that? (Well, if you can drive and you like to rent cars.) I gotta get me one of those!

Erik & I finally got to see Michelle’s place – a lack of space has made her reluctant to invite us over – and it is an awesome space! Half kitchen and half bedroom with a big bathroom on the side! (To her delight that it is possible to entertain a place that size) we ended up hanging out there and played a wickedly evil card game entitled “Office Scandal.” Mucho fun and root beer was had.

Saturday was the biggest shoot day for Chris’s film and I got to do all sorts of movie stuff: drive real fast, haul equipment, set up a dolly, and be an extra. I haven’t worked on set in a very long time, so it was lotsa fun, and it helped that the mood on the set was light and relaxed. The best part of the day (besides Daniel & I mock-racing Matt & Chris home and losing) was the Simpson’s Road Rage-athon that lasted for four hours and the cheesiest, greasiest pizza I’ve ever eaten. I was impressed with myself when I completed several tasks on the first try, the same tasks that took me several hours to complete the first time I played the game over a year ago. I guess my gaming skills (or Road Rage skills) have improved. Matt, please hide your Game Cube!

Sunday marked the beginning of my birth-week celebrations. My mom and I went shopping for new clothes at the Eaton Centre, stuff my mom hates to shop for in the place she hates the most! Now that’s a birthday present! She scored big time with a new jean jacket, and I found some new jeans and a very pink shirt. Then we had apple-birthday-pie. Mmmmmm, Pie…..

Matt has posted a summary of the cats in his life, and I feel the need to elaborate on his impression of Sammy because for whatever reason Sammy refuses to bond with him in any way. Sammy is definitely an independent cat, but he does like people, just not everyone. Sometimes I think he likes Chris more than he likes me! (And he LOVES Erik, even though he rarely sees him.) He’s very affectionate, just on HIS terms, when HE wants it. I don’t know why, but he only really hides in fear from Matt, or loud strangers. He evens hisses at the very presence of Matt! I’ve only ever seen him hiss at the vacuum cleaner and the weasel (= Campbell, my moms cat). (But the weasel deserved it.) Sammy and Zam seem to actually like the company of each other, although their playtime may be construed as “chase to kill,” they seem to be having fun. And they quite often hang out together either in my room or Chris’s room. And oh yeah – he doesn’t have serious mental problems! I know I sound like an overprotective mother with a kid who doesn’t play well with others, but he’s my fat baby!

The Playboy Synagogue

I feel the need to stress the fact that working in this synagogue is like working anywhere. Well maybe a little more perverse….
For fear of incriminating myself, I try to keep blogging about work to a minimum, but in this case, I think the people involved are guilty enough on their own. The Cantor found a naked photo of Britney Spears from Playboy, so he emailed it to the president of the synagogue, who then forwarded it to every single person on his email list. So of course we then get a phone call from a member complaining about the porn that the cantor of the synagogue sent him. The Cantor claims it is not porn, since it was from Playboy magazine (logic much?) and the president was too daft to remove the Cantor’s name from the email. It doesn’t help that he got another complaint regarding the “v-cut dresses down to the bosom” that some of the choirgirls were wearing on Sunday. Tis a lovely place I work in.

And according to the nice doctor at the walk-in clinic I have a virus and not an infection, so no drugs for me! (Although he gave me a prescription anyway, to take in case it gets worse.) I guess February is still holding on by its teeth. Let me go you damn hell month!

What’s this? A new band photo? Yee-haw!

This entry is dedicated to Sean

who rescued us from the darkness last night...

So yeah, 3QF had a 3Q blackout last night. (The only power we had was 1/2 of two outlets in the kitchen.) The drama began around 9:20 pm, and after several phone calls to our landlord, an electrician, Erik, Home Depots that were not open and a visit to/from our lower neighbours, one of whom is an electrician, the problem was solved! It was 1:00 am, but hey, the my alarm clock would go off in the morning. The whole event could have been much more of a hassle if it weren't for two ironies; our downstairs neighbour (who is quite the hottie) is an electrician, and we have temporary custody of Chris's parents car. So our neighbour solved the problem, and this morning the lil' Honda Civic led me to Home Depot where I located the fuse section in like, 5 seconds. The car also led me to work, in like 30 freakin' minutes! (I need a freakin' car!) I need a nap.

This entry is dedicated to Chris

who should get a prize for having more interest in my blog than me these days! One month indeed. I don’t like February, never have, probably never will. It’s not the February blahs, it’s the February-suck-my-balls-and-get-outta-my-face-or-put-me-outta-my-misery. Hate February. The whole damn month. I would summarize the whole damn month, but y’all wouldn’t have liked what I woulda had to say anyway. But it’s March now, a whole new month, and a whole lotta time until the evil month returns…

So uh, lets focus on the goodness of March:

• I won a coffee the other day on my first coffee of the roll-up-the-rim-to-win season.
• My cat has started sleeping on my bed again, after a month long retreat upstairs.
• Russell T. Davies has a new series on.
• After many rumours and much speculation, the release date/title of Oasis’s new album has finally been announced. (Don’t Believe The Truth, May 16th)
• David Usher already has a new single out, and an album will be to follow in April. (Which also means His Royal Hottieness will be touring this summer.)
• Poppy Z. Brite’s new book is out this month and I’ve managed to buy several other OOP books on Ebay.
• My birthday is in a week and that means cake. (As well as being selfish for a week.)
• Erik’s taking me to Montreal next weekend. (Part of the birth-week celebrations)
• I just made $150 for an hour of easy-cheesy work.
• The figure skating world championships is next week! Go Johnny!
• Today Michelle sent me pictures from Halloween that are drunk-tabulous!
• The snow is melting and I think my cold is going away.