I touched Jordan Knight - read all about it here.

Master of the Universe

The best thing about working here is the occasional gift basket we as an office receive - today we got the nicest one ever (and I told the lady who gave it to us too, although she likely though I was just being polite.) Usually they're all stuffing and boring crackers, but this one contains an exuberant amount of fancy, yummy things like marshmallow chocolate bark (actually a mucho amount of chocolate), 4 pepper & olive dip, rye & caraway crackers, flavored coffee and lots of other stuff. There's also a package of shortbread cookies which my boss handed to me and said "oh these have to be for you cause you're a WASP" to which I replied "I'm not a WASP, that's Scottish shortbread and my grandparents were Scottish and doesn't everyone like shortbread?" To punctuate this, the ritual director came in and went straight for it saying it was his favorite, and now that they've been opened there's only one left. Guess I work in an office full of WASPs.

The thing about labels is they're usually as equally true as they are false. I myself am usually so ignorant to stereotypes that I'm not even sure what many labels imply. Although I suppose if everyone actually knew what they were saying about someone when they labeled them they probably wouldn't say it to begin with. Or maybe they would because they're a jerk. I didn't actually call myself as an atheist until I started working here and got tired of being referred to as the catholic girl. They still call me that, but now I correct them; the term atheist is a valuable tool in a religious institution especially when you want to clear the room. So what exactly is a WASP anyway?

(from Wikipedia)

"...descendants of colonial-era immigrants from the British Isles - especially England, Wales and Scotland (irrespective of the fact that Scots and Welsh people are Celts, not descendants of Angles and Saxons) and also usually includes persons of Dutch descent such as the Vanderbilts and Roosevelts."

A mix of Scottish & Dutch (among other things) ---> 8/10.

"...upper middle to upper class educated Protestants, members of high society, with prep school and Ivy League educations."

Designating class structure is lame, but I did go to university.---> .5/2

"Various stereotypes...boring, greedy, frugal, snobbish, distant, compulsively hardworking, emotionally undemonstrative and arrogant."

Boring - sometimes, greedy - hardly, frugal - always, snobbish - whatever, distant - eh?, compulsively hardworking - half of the time, the other half I'm a lazy ass, emotionally undemonstrative - no, arrogant - never ---> 1.5/5

"...having pale, and often sunburnt skin complexions, fair colored wavy to curly hair, and light colored eyes."

Pale skin, dark hair, medium-ish eyes(?) ---> 1/3

"...a propensity for alcohol..."

Myself, no, but it does run in the family! ---> 1/5

Congratulations! You are 48% WASP, and 52% I don't give a f*ck.

But speaking of labels, I was being introduced to the woman who gave us the gift basket and I was introduced as the person who does the website, the Shabbat Shalom, the Bulletin and all the flyers - I told her I'm the assistant bookkeeper. That is my actual title, and I actually do that job too (accounts receivable, billing, bank deposits, anything related to members financial information, etc.) it just encompasses less and less of my time as more and more things get added to my list of duties (which also include the Cantor's Assistant, solving computer issues, running reports when the computer system works and assisting in the search to find a computer program that actually works.) So I think I need a new title to better explain what I do. Suggestions anyone?

Population 5000 + one big fat stinkin' Walmart

Article in The Napanee Beaver

One may believe that given my love of the whorehouse Walmart I would be delighted that they opened one up in my old town...not so. I shouldn't really care, given that hell will most definitely freeze over before I'd live there again, but a small part of me knows that this means the total obliteration of the downtown area (yes, Napanee has a downtown area.) It's not just about Napanee though; it's about all the skeezy-outdoor-plaza-thingys that seems to be replicating faster than tribbles. It all started with Tim Hortons moving into town, and the re-locating of Giant Tiger from downtown to a bigger place "uptown." (Colossal Tiger?) Before that there was a mall (AKA. Small Mall or the Not Really A Mall, Mall) with an A&P inside, a McDonalds, Canadian Tire, Beaver Lumber and a um, farm. (And I'm only talking about chain stores). In the uptown area since then a Wendy's, Dairy Queen & KFC have opened, A&P has separated from the mall and a No Frills has taken it's place, Beaver Lumber turned into Home Hardware, a big fancy new arena has been built and the mall has self-destructed. Ka-boom! Stores that have closed downtown include Bi-way, Head's Video (the best selection of horror movies ever), Lipsons (a very old clothing store), probably the health food store I loved as a teenager, Dixie Lee, Big-O's (donuts, although I never questioned the name when I was younger…) and who knows what else (because any time I've driven though the town since I don't actually get out of the car for fear of seeing people I know. I have however, heard that another Tim Hortons opened up somewhere downtown as well as some other new stores to keep people going. It probably sounds lame, but that was my Saturday entertainment when I was younger – going shopping downtown with my mom. (No wonder we do the same thing in Toronto)

For your amusement (and mine) here's a map of Napanee...



And if you're interested in my article on Purim it's here, along with a flyer I did for the Carnival.

Cutest

Stickers

Ever.

:( the weekend is over

I work in one of those places where everyone talks about things that should be done but no one actually does anything. So when they decided that our bulletin/magazine thingy needs more content (AFTER all the articles have gone to the layout guy)I was suckered into writing an article about Purim. Yeah, me, the atheist who couldn't give a rats ass (I would really like to meet the person that penned that one) about religious holidays - or religion for that matter - who only equates the holiday with a censored version of Halloween (like they dress up, but only as "happy nice things"), is going to write about Purim. Lovely. I'm also the newly designated editor of the bulletin, which means more work for me but also - more power! Ah ha-ha ha. Ha.

I watched the Canadian exhibition skaters this weekend. They're more laid back and so much more entertaining than the Americans are. They look like they're having a blast while the Americans are all straight faced and serious. Maybe Canadians are like the blondes of the world and have more fun. I don't mind serious skating when the skater is totally amazing and doesn't need the crutch of tricks and hand clapping to engage the audience. I was impressed to learn that Jeff Buttle has choreographed his piece that day, every move matching the music, even though it was to a Coldplay song.

I also bought and watched Gus Van Sant's Last Days, which was predictably impressive. (Also predictable was Chris's reaction to immediately go out and buy it as well because he was SO jealous that I bought it for $16.99) I say predictably because after seeing Gerry and Elephant, it seems he is interested in making good films again after the long hiatus he took when he made Good Will Hunting, which spiraled into several years of crap with Psycho and Finding Forrester. He probably needed the cash. If that's the case, expect another dark age of Van Sant stinkers because the production of Last Days clearly needed more money for dolly track. I'm referring to the complicated maneuvering techniques of removing the dolly track that the camera had passed over already and replacing/realigning it on the other end before the camera makes it there. Maybe they just didn't ask for enough on the equipment list and realized it way to late. Or maybe some dumb P.A. left a piece of track in the bushes somewhere, cause God knows shit is always left behind...

And oh I finally witnessed the first appearance of Towelie.

"Wanna Get High?"

Welcome to Brandyland

I hope y'all like pink.

A sigh of relief.

The Canada & US Nationals are over and the figure skaters destined for the Olympics have been chosen. Jeff Buttle won the men's title for Canada and Johnny Weir won his third title for the US. It's nice to see winners without a (successful) quad, because there has been far too much emphasis on it. Having said that, it's unlikely a skater will be at the very top on a worldwide scale because many men can do it. Pros keep saying that Emanuel Sandhu is one of the top skaters, and yet he only performs well half of the time. He seems to have improved on his ability to keep going after a mishap, but I still think he is unable to really bring it to the ice. Buttle on the other hand always is always positive and always fights his way spectacularly through every performance. The same can be said for Weir, especially after skating through the injuries he has had in the past. They are both beautiful skaters to watch, and that impresses me far more than who can land a quad. Baring disaster (or breakthrough performance by someone else), I think they'll both finish in the top four at the Olympics, as well as Stephane Lambiel(Switzerland) and Evgeni Plushenko(Russia) who will likely win the gold. But really, anything goes, and with the lack of televised events, I have seen little of the international skating scene.

He's Ba-ack...

So after busting his ankle at Skate Canada back in October Johnny is BACK and skating better than ever! (Well according to the results of the short program at the US Nationals, which of course didn't air up here...) They will however be airing the free skate on Saturday, so I'm excited! It's a holy weekend of figure skating with both the Canadian and US Nationals being aired (well mostly), the results of which will determine who will get to go to the Olympics. Overall impressions of last night: Women's short (Canada) ----> meh. Pairs short ----> very fierce competition for the two Olympic spots. Perhaps the most pathetic point of the evening was the insulation that was falling from the ceiling onto the ice, care of some squirrels that clearly don't like figure skating. Or maybe they're spy squirrels sent in to sabotage Canada's chances for an Olympic medal. Note to squirrels: It's really not necessary.

This page is getting a much-needed makeover.

In the mean time, check out my new music-related blog, the girl with the blues. I decided that so many of my blog posts have related to the music that I listen to, that I should just make an entirely separate blog dedicated to my latest discoveries, gossip & news, concert announcements and flat out fan-boy ramblings. And just because you don’t share my musical tastes doesn't mean that it won’t amuse you...

HEY DUDE!

If Crispian Mills can resurrect Kula Shaker, then I can damn well resurrect this blog!

Stay Tuned...